If He Had Lived
by jayhogartismyangel
Summary: AU FIC! If JT had survived his fatal stabbing,how would he have changed? How would he have acted? Would he survive the hate as he did the stabbing?
1. Chapter 1

**If He Had Lived.**

**A/N WARNING!!!!! angsty JT,angry at the world JT suicidal JT. If you don't like turn back now!!!!!**

**Prologue**

JT was quickly rushed into the ER. They had to do surgery on him that night. The doctor had told the teen's grandmother and friends that if he had been brought in even a moment later he would've been dead for sure. Liberty had to sob at that,they had almost lost him and without a second thought she had rushed into his hospital room where he was now recooperating. She was nearly brought to tears again at the sight of him in the hospital bed. He lay underneath the starch white sheets,face pale. His beautiful brown waves of hair fell across his forehead in that charming way but his eyes...his eyes looked dark,angry,sad. So many things she had never ever wanted to see on JT. Not him. Not the boy who laughed and acted and loved children. Not the boy she had loved since she was eleven.

"JT?" Swallowing hard she moved to the side of his bed. He just gazed up at her without emotion. "JT. I am so sorry for yelling at you. So sorry. I shouldn't have,you where the last person to deserve it."

He let out a harsh laugh,eyes cold and forbidding. "Don't tell me lies. I am a piece of shit. My mother didn't want me,my father didn't want me,you don't want me. If I wasn't a freak I wouldn't have been stabbed. Now would I? So tell me why the fuck I should believe anything anyone says?" he said harshly,slamming his hand hard on the table beside the bed. Liberty jumped as she saw streams of blood run down JT's fist.

"JT,your fist. I..I better call the nurse." She said horrified.

"See? Your disgusted by me!! JUST GET OUT!!! Get the FUCK OUT NOW!!!!" He yelled,tossing his head back,hair gleaming,fist clenched in the sheets. A nurse rushed in with a needle sticking it in his arm. In seconds he was calm and asleep.

The nurse threw Liberty an apologetic look. "I am sorry. You should've been warned that he might act this way. He is very traumatized. Not that I can blame him. Those monsters hurt him badly and I don't mean the stabbing. Those boy's dropped him in a puddle of urine. as if he where trash. Don't judge him. And come back later. He'll need it." She said.

Liberty nodded and with a last glance at the love of her life she walked from the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**If He Had Lived**

**A/N:m'kay JT's parents aren't dead or anything...his dad abandoned him and his mother before he was born and his mother was a drunk who went to rehab to get better. It was said on some Degrassi site a long while ago. His grandmother had been taking care of him since season three. He mentioned having a sister way back in season one but we never heard of her again so I am not sure if she is older or younger,I would assume she is older.(just some info for those who don't know) Manny also mentione having older brothers in season one but it wasn't mentioned again.**

**Chapter One:Changes**

JT looked at his hand now wrapped in gauze bandages. His whole body was filled with a searing pain that wouldn't go away. The medicine that he had gotten from the nurse before bed where not helping any. He couldn't sleep without images of what had happened to him flashing through his mind. He could still hear the laughter of Drake,the boy who had stabbed him so viciously as he fell back against the car eyes staring blankly ahead as Drake and his friend ran from the scene,he could still feel the coolness of the knife slashing through him. The hateful tone in Drake's voice as he said, '_Oh yeah mascot boy? Laugh at this!!'_ It was something that he wouldn't ever forget,something that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He hated it!! He hated it how one moment in time was changing him. He wanted to be the boy he had been before this. The one who had cracked jokes and fought with Liberty. The one who was filled with life.

But he knew he had changed already. He had become bitter,angry,and harsh. He had even begun to wonder why he didn't die tonight or that time last year when he overdosed on pills. To him death now seemed satisfying all things considering. He was distracted from his thoughts when his best friend since preschool,Manny Santos walked in. Her long dark bangs fell in her shimmering dark eyes. "Hey Superman. How are you? We were all so worried." She said softly using the nickname she hadn't used since middle school began.

The sound of his nickname made him smile a bit but that smile quickly disappeared as Manny walked to his bedside and put one tiny hand on his head letting her fingers run through his thick hair. She layed her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat against her ear. "I was so afraid I wouldn't get to hear your heartbeat. I was afraid that I would see you only when I went to your funeral or when I went to your grave or something. I...I wanted to kil those boys for hurting you. I really didn't know how it could happen to you of all people. I couldn't lose you. Your like my brother." She said turning her head to look up at his face.

"You where always more of a sister sister to me than Jacqueline ever was." He said bitterly,referring to a sister he hadn't seen since she had abandoned him when she was fourteen. He remembered sitting and waiting for her to come everynight for a whole week,getting no sleep. That was when he realized that she did not care. She loved her drugs and beer more.

Manny smiled sadly and sighed. "And you always cared more for me than Nicholas and Matthew did." she said referring to her two older brothers who where both in jail.

"You know Manny? I yelled at Liberty when she came in. How come I didn't with you?" JT said in a scratchy voice. With a smile on her face Manny placed a kiss to his forehead and said. "Because I didn't act scared. You could never scare me. Your my friend. And we share a bond."

JT smiled a bit and closed his eyes,"Manny? Will you sing to me like you did when we where younger?"

Manny smiled a bit,her dimple appearing and she began to sing softly,

How can you see into my eyes like open doors

leading you down into my core

where I become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

until you find it and lead it back home

(Wake me up)

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark.

Manny continued to sing,while running her hand along JT's head in a comforting way. JT's eyes slowly drifted shut and he begun to sleep peacefully, Not noticing Manny's voice quiet down as she fell asleep beside

him.

**A/N:I do not own Degrassi or the song by Evanescence.**

"


	3. Chapter 3

**If He Had Lived**

**A/N:Just so you know this is a JT story with alot of Manny and maybe later some Bella. He won't get with Manny they are just really close friends and really protective of eachother which you will see in another chapter.**

**Chapter 2:Miracle**

JT awoke once again mouth dry. He glanced down to see Manny sitting in her chair sleepng. Her head rested on his chest and her long black hair obscured her face. Her right hand was still laced with his and he had to smile. She hadn't left his side,instead she'd stayed here,holding his hands. he liked it. It was comforting.

She awakened slowly,eye lashes fluttering as she opened her eyes. Gazing for a minute at JT's chest,Manny lifted her head and shook the hair from her pretty eyes and gave a dimpled smile. "Hey JT. Did you sleep okay?" She asked softly as she stretched in her seat and gazed at him like a sister who wanted to protect her brother from all the hurt in the world. She began to smooth out his blankets as she watched him.

"Yeah. Having you here helped alot." He said thankfully just as a slender nurse proably in her 40's with silvery blond hair and soft grey-green eyes walked in smiling at him in a motherly way. "Hello,Mr.Yorke. I came in earlier and found you darlins' sleepin' so peacefully that I just had to let you guys alone. It seems this girl here is a miracle. I brought you two some breakfast and drinks. And you child need to leave. I am sure your parents are worried and you can see him again later but he has other visitors who want to see him as well. Including his granny and this pretty,lil' gal who is probably around two or three I'm guessin'." The motherly nurse said as she sat the food down and moved to fluff JT's pillow and raise the bed up so he could eat. She also handed him a glass of juice and two antibiotic pills and a pain pill to take.

Manny and the nurse both kept careful eyes on him to make sure he swallowed the pills and then the nurse grinned sadly running a hand over his hair in a motherly fashion and walked out the door,stopping before she walked out to look a him and shake her head saying,"You poor dear. I hope those monsters pay for what they did to you."

Manny whispered under her breath quietly,"You and me both. Then she set the food down on JT's tray and sat her own plate on her lap. The meal consisted of toast with apple butter and some pancakes. Manny smiled a bit as she and JT ate in companionable silence.

JT looked at her with a smile of mischief and she could've sworn that the JT she'd known almost all her life was back if she didn't notice the dark sadness lingering beneath. With a sigh ae stood up,wiped her mouth,sat her tray on the tableside and then leaned over JT to hug him,whisper that she would be back soon,and place a gentle kiss on his hairline. she headed out the door and into the waiting room where Mia stood,holding her daughter,Isabella's hand. JT's grandmother sat in one of the blue chairs with Snake and Spike Simpson on either side of her. Emma was sleeping in Sean's lap and Sean was staring blankly at one of the blindingly white walls.

"Manny,how is my grandson? Liberty stormed out of here,demanding Toby take her home before I could even ask her how he was."

"He's as okay as can be expected considering everything. He and I talked,fell asleep,and then he took some pills and ate. He is awake if you want to see him."

"Mommy,cwan I swee JT? Pwease? I pwomise I be good." Isabella begged. Manny stared in surprise. Those where the first words she'd heard come from the little girl since they'd met.

"Sweetie,we should let his grandmother see him first,okay?" Mia said,sniffling and hugging her child to her.

Manny took a seat by Mia and Bella as the elderly headed torwards her grandson's private hospital room.

She was out fifteen to twenty minutes later,tearstains on her cheeks she looked at Manny and then at Isabella and Mia and said,"You two can go see him." Mia hugged the woman and thanked her,then she and Isabella headed into the room slowly.


End file.
